“Dying Wish” by WordWise

In 2007, retired surgeon Michael Miller was dying of end-stage cancer and was determined to avoid the extended pain of the end-of-life process that awaited him. He had decided years earlier that if the effects of his cancer became too much to handle, he would cease eating and drinking in order to usher in a more peaceful and less lengthy dying process.

That time had come.

“I am Michael Miller. Soon I will discontinue eating and drinking, and drift into death in days. I am extricating myself from a wretched end of life.”

Filmmakers Karen van Vuuren and Francesca Nicosia followed the journey of Michael and his family and caregivers in the last days of his life through the brief documentary Dying Wish. The film introduces Michael, his philosophies and his decision; his family, caregivers, medical ethicists and hospice staff to discuss both Michael’s decision and patients’ right to end-of-life in general*.

At the beginning of the film, while introducing Michael’s life and decision, the juxtaposition of his strength and his wife’s acceptance and grief over her pending loss presents a story that is both inspiring and heartbreaking. His wife suggests that, although she supports her husband’s decision, she may not be able to make the same decision for herself, insinuating her husband’s bravery.

Throughout the film, though preparing to embrace the end of his life, Michael remains positive and peaceful. While sick from the effects of cancer toward the beginning, he is vital and upbeat, with a strong sense of humor. As is often the case, Michael is less afraid of his coming death than those around him.

“So full of cancer, I don’t have room for food,” he jokes in one scene, bringing his wife to tears over dinner. He has to quickly apologize and comfort his wife as she grieves for him.

Michael explains that, although watching him approach death is difficult for his family, it’s been easier for them to say goodbye to him than to watch him suffer.

“I didn’t know dying would be this easy… I just didn’t think it would be this nice.”

End-of-life experts join the conversation throughout the documentary, sharing their insight and experiences with patients choosing their end of life. They report that the vast majority of patients who choose to die this way have very peaceful deaths, as this is finally something they have taken control of after a long road of suffering out of their control.

A younger Dr. Michael Miller

Michael reports the same with his experience. His first day of fasting is a celebration for him, as he shares an immense feeling of freedom over taking control of his fate.

The documentary follows Michael day-to-day through his fast, showing a peaceful and jovial man settling into death. Watching his deterioration is difficult, but the filmmakers handle the experience in a very sensitive way. They share Michael’s journey honestly and respectfully, not shying away even near his last hours. Throughout the experience, Michael continues to assert that he’s comfortable and, surprisingly, “I have no thirst, and I have no hunger. So easy.”

Michael’s understanding of his death as “easy” is re-iterated when he says, as paraphrased by a friend in the film, “I didn’t know dying would be this easy… I just didn’t think it would be this nice.”

It’s impossible not to be touched by this profound journey, by the strength of a dying man inspired by the legacy he will leave through the film. Michael’s story is emotional, but also educational and deeply thought-provoking. A beautiful piece, certainly for any caregiver to experience and ponder, but also for all of us to see this kind of end-of-life experience up close without grandeur or repugnance.

Trailer for Dying Wish – the documentary.

*A patient’s “right to self-determination” is discussed further in the Dying Wish FAQ, where you can also find more resources on the subject.